I can’t think of anything more devastating than the loss of a child.

In the world of pregnancy care, miscarriage is that grief-causing, devastating loss of a child.

If you have experienced a miscarriage, I pray for your healing and comfort. You are not alone.

Grief can be debilitating.  Grief is personal. We all experience grief and deal with it differently, in our own way, in our own time. According to Kubler-Ross there are 5 stages of grief:

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

These steps do not necessarily occur in that order and there is no time- limit to get through to the acceptance stage.  Acceptance, wow, acceptance.  That may seem like a million miles away.

Miscarriage can cause you to feel other things as well: guilt, confusion, jealously that someone else is having a healthy pregnancy.  You are not alone in those feelings. It just doesn’t seem fair and you question, “ Why did this have to happen to me?!” There may not be an answer, and sometimes that loss of control is unbearable.

You are not alone.

Try talking with someone- maybe a counselor, a friend, a relative, a spiritual advisor, your baby’s daddy. Remember that everyone experiences grief differently, even those you love!

Allow yourself to grieve. Write down your feelings in a journal, pray.

Find a support group.

You are not alone.

It doesn’t matter if a miscarriage occurs at 6 weeks, 13 weeks, 20 weeks, 37 weeks, or at the birth of a full-term stillborn child, your loss matters. Your baby matters.  

Some people just don’t understand:

Well meaning people often say things that don’t seem very helpful at the time.  Give them grace. They care.

Sometimes people don’t say anything because they do not know what to say.  Give them grace. They care.

If you’re reading this and know someone who’s had a miscarriage, sometimes a hug and your heartfelt presence can go a long way.  Sometimes saying “ I may not have the right words, but I grieve with you”, let’s that person know you care.

This is a prayer that I love and has brought me comfort.  I hope it does the same for you.

"The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help.  He rescues them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time".  Psalm 34: 17-20

Sending love to my brokenhearted friends…

Trisha has been a Registered Nurse for twenty-five years. She connects with pregnant women in a personal, cheerful and caring way. At Mary’s House, she is the Clinic Director who can answer questions as a nurse and encourage you as a good friend would.